My testimony, part 1 - I Grew Up In A Christian Home.

I grew up in a Christian home. A story you may be familiar with.

I gave my heart to Jesus at a very young age. Our family was deeply involved in church; I attended Sunday school, went to Bible study every Wednesday, joined the youth gatherings and went on church camps. I was confirmed in my final year of school. During university, I continued to attend church every Sunday and I joined a missionary outreach to Kenya twice. I participated in all the traditional Christian ceremonies, checking all the boxes one might expect from an outside perspective looking into a Christian’s life.

After university, I attended church, but there was a point when I felt unwelcome. It felt the church was for good people only, not for those who may have stumbled along the way, which I believed was true for me at the time. While my life appeared great from the outside, and I seemed like a nice person enjoying life and doing things that made me happy, it wasn't truly great.

The Fourie Clan when everyone was still alive ♥

I felt lonely, caught up in my own world of thoughts. I often found myself in unfulfilling relationships, seeking something I couldn't quite grasp. As a people-pleaser, I would risk losing myself and compromising what was right rather than face abandonment and rejection. Every relationship I pursued was a futile attempt to find what I didn't even realize I was missing. At the time, I didn’t fully understand this.

My choices and actions increasingly reflected the life of someone who knew about Jesus but had moved Him to the periphery, right outside my sphere of vision.

My Bible was tucked away, safely in my bedside drawer, but I haven’t opened it for a very long time, decades to be honest. Later, I downloaded a Bible app, but I only singled out those encouraging verses I needed or wanted to hear when life got rough.

I drowned myself in work and while this was inconvenient, it was also a welcome escape from what I needed. I was still a child of God because He never turned away from me. Even though I thought about Him and wanted to experience His presence again, I didn't allow myself to do so. I was happy to receive blessings from others, when they sent an apt Bible verse of encouragement or joy, yet I felt completely incapable of returning the same type of blessing.

My soul was occupied with everything except God.

Continue reading my testimony - part 2.