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Change ONE habit

Updated: Sep 16, 2020

Here we are, just about 18 hours before South Africa is in lockdown as we join a large part of the Globe.


As a Country, we will be challenged like never before.

Every single person in our country is experiencing something at the moment. My guess is that our own mortality and safety as well as the safety and health of those near and dear to us, will remain the most vital concerns for most people.


Social media is flooded with beautiful souls around the Globe offering virtual support, free online events and courses. People are sharing information freely in an attempt to help people avoid and deal with the psychological effects of this unprecedented time.

But, a period of growth awaits, if we so choose.


I find Eckhart Tolle’s perspective quite liberating and meaningful at the moment. He says: “Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”


Be warned, these words could appear to have a very different meaning, depending on your state of mind, your feelings, your thoughts and whether you allow external factors to impact you.

Just this morning, when I read these words again, I thought yeah! How true are these words, “accept this moment as if I had chosen it”, the moment I found myself in was a really great moment. It was easy to accept, and I acted with confidence.


A couple of hours later, I find myself in a brief moment - clenching my hands, breathing faster than what is necessary, my thoughts out of control and I simply felt defeated. My physiology changed, the language I applied in my mind, ooooh nook, you don’t want to know… It was a sad, sad picture (so glad you were not here to see it, it made for a really good comedy).


I felt like a bit like a hypocrite and quite embarrassed when I came up for air, knowing, albeit a brief moment, I brought that experience over myself. You see, it was my unstable Wi-Fi that caused me to act like this (she says grimacing and thinking they will feel sorry for her and understand her moment, and that makes the moment all ok).


But alas, it was not ok.

I looked back at this moment and reflected on my moment with Eckhart’s words in mind. I took a really deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and breathed out.


What did I do wrong? I resisted the moment, I worked against it, not with it. Because in my humble opinion, I should not have to struggle with a Wi-Fi signal, I should not have any challenges of the sort, I didn’t accept the moment, I reacted (oh boy, and did I react!). I tried to control external factors of which I had absolutely no control over…


I truly reflected on the moment and asked myself whether it could have been different if I accepted the moment for what it was. The moment when the Wi-Fi dropped for the 5th time in one minute, after I have been patient for 2 hours, was what it was. It could not have been different, because it wasn’t. (Read that again).


After I took a few deep breaths, my physiology started to change, my shoulders relaxed, I looked up, my heartrate returned to normal – I was in control.

With this in mind, how can each of us then achieve a makeover during the 21 days of lockdown.

Dr. Caroline Leaf, Neuroscientist, explains that it only takes 21 days to break down a core habit and build up a replacement one. To avoid falling back into the habit, we need to practise the new way of thinking for at least another 42 days.


Is there perhaps a little habit standing in your way of claiming back control? Off course there is one - there are many of these habits causing us to fall.

But for now, my challenge to you is to focus on one habit only. One habit you would like to break down over the next 21 days.


Write it down on a piece of paper (make it big and visible). Put it up on the fridge, your mirror, a wall, wherever you will see it most of the day.

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Be conscious of this habit, be in the moment. The bad habit will show up, no doubt (especially during the next 21 days). When it shows up, realise this: You are in control. Accept the moment, then act. Accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.


This makeover doesn’t require money; you don’t need a beauty salon.


It may be a little painful to break down this habit but if you persevere, if you put your mind to it, if you focus on it, your makeover is but only a hop, skip, and a jump away.


I would like to encourage you to share your ONE HABIT you will be breaking down during the next 21 days. We can all do with a little encouragement during this period.


I wish for you a beautiful, peaceful day.

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